5 Levers of Influence (3/5): Communication
You said the words, shared the plan, and followed up. But no one moved. That’s when you realize: being clear is not the same as being understood.
This series of articles about influence started with the introduction to The 5 Levers of Influence, check it now:
So we have “The 5 Levers of Influence”:
The 5 Levers of Influence:
Credibility: No one listens to noise. They follow competence and consistency.
Relationships: Influence spreads at the speed of trust.
Communication: You can't lead if your ideas don’t land.
Shared Goals: Influence is easier when people care about the same outcome.
Example: You can’t fake integrity. People watch what you do.
And today, we will dive deep into item number three on the list: Communication
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You Thought You Were Clear… But No One Moved
He had worked hard on the plan.
He mapped all the steps.
Listed the risks.
Created the timeline.
Talked to the right people.
Updated the slides again and again.
Everything looked ready.
So when he shared it in the meeting, he felt confident.
He spoke clearly. The slides explained the work. It made sense.
After the call, he told me, “I explained everything clearly. People asked for a plan. I gave them the plan.”
And he was right.
But the meeting ended in silence. Not the calm, focused kind of silence. The other kind. When people are unsure, but no one says it out loud.
A few people nodded. Someone said, “Looks good.” Then nothing else. No questions. No energy. No momentum.
The week after, two people didn’t follow through. One forgot. Another said they didn’t know it was important.
He felt confused. A little frustrated. Maybe even ignored.
And I understand that feeling. I’ve been there. You probably have too…
You prepare the work. You give the information. You expect action. But instead, you get silence.
That’s where the mistake often happens.
We think communication is just about being clear. But it's not.
The core of communication is about connection. And if people don’t connect with what you said, they won’t act. Even if the plan is perfect.
This is where many good leaders feel stuck. They explain things in detail. They know the work. They speak with logic. But people still don’t move.
Why?
Because people don’t listen like machines. They listen like humans. They are busy, distracted, tired, and thinking about many things. They listen with emotion, not just attention.
So if your message doesn’t land in the right way, it disappears. Not because it wasn’t clear. But because it didn’t stay.
That’s what this part of the series is about.
Because your influence doesn’t come from how well you talk. It comes from what people remember after you stop talking.
The Myth of Clarity
Many people believe this: if I explain things clearly, people will understand. And if they understand, they will act.
It feels logical…
If something makes sense to you, it should make sense to others, too, right?
But it doesn’t work that way. People forget most of what you say.
Not because they are careless. But because the brain is busy. It filters, skips, connects things to past memories, and deletes the rest.
This is why you can spend 30 minutes explaining a plan, and people will still ask questions about it the next day. Or even worse, they’ll move in a different direction without telling you.
There’s a name for this in psychology. It’s called the “Curse of Knowledge.” When you know something very well, it becomes hard to imagine how it is not to know it.
You speak faster. You skip steps. You assume things are obvious when they’re not.
And here’s another piece: people don’t follow logic alone. They follow meaning. They follow what feels simple, familiar, and emotionally safe.
So is all about the experience of hearing those words. Do they land softly? Do they make people feel safe to ask questions? Do they sound like a shared message or just your personal agenda?
That’s why long explanations often fail. You think more words will help. But they don’t. They only add noise.
And people don’t follow noise. They follow what they understand, remember, and care about.
That’s why this lever of influence matters so much. Because without communication that sticks, your leadership feels invisible. You speak, but nothing moves.
Not because you were wrong. But because the message didn’t land.
Why This Happens So Often (Even to Smart People)
You might think this only happens to new managers. Or maybe to people who are not used to leading meetings. But it doesn’t. It happens to experienced professionals all the time.
Even the smart ones. Especially the smart ones.
The more you know about a topic, the easier it is to speak too fast, use words people don’t fully understand, or skip the part where you explain why it matters.
You’re not doing it on purpose. It’s just how the brain works. When something is familiar, it stops feeling complex.
You forget how much learning it took to get to where you are. So you speak from the top of the mountain, forgetting most people are still on the climb.
I’ve seen product managers explain their strategy in 20 slides, thinking it was simple. I’ve seen engineers try to walk a team through system architecture in five minutes and then ask, “Any questions?” when half the team was still stuck on the second diagram.
This isn’t a problem of intelligence. It’s a problem of distance.
The more distance there is between what you know and what others understand, the more likely your message will miss the target.
And then comes the worst part. You assume that if people didn’t get it, it’s their fault. Maybe they weren’t paying attention. Maybe they weren’t ready. Maybe they just don’t care.
But in most cases, they didn’t act because the message never really reached them.
And once you fall into this loop of speaking, then being ignored, then speaking louder, you start overexplaining. You add more slides. More meetings. More context. But it still doesn’t work, and now everyone is tired.
That’s when communication feels tedious, and influence vanishes.
So here’s something I learned the hard way: if people didn’t move, don’t repeat the same thing louder. Step back. Ask what actually stayed with them. Ask what they understood, not what you intended.
Because smart leaders don’t just speak well. They make sure they’re understood.
And that means letting go of how clear it felt in your head. What matters is how clear it feels in them.
What Real Communication Looks Like in Leadership
If you want to influence people, your message needs to stay with them. Not for five minutes. For days. Maybe weeks.
So what does that look like in real life?
It doesn’t mean talking more. It doesn’t mean using big words. It doesn’t mean sending one more follow-up email full of extra slides.
It means showing up with messages that people understand, remember, and care about.
And to do that, you don’t need better grammar.
You need better habits!
Let’s walk through some of the ones that actually work.
Speak simply -The best communicators don’t try to sound smart. They try to be clear. They use simple words. They pause. They repeat the same message in different ways, over time. Not because people are slow, but because attention is messy. People are busy. Saying it once is not enough. Say it clearly. Then say it again with new words, not with more words.
Use stories more than slides - Humans remember stories. They forget bullet points. If you want someone to remember a risk, tell them what happened last time the team missed it. If you want someone to take a deadline seriously, talk about how the delay affected the customer before. People respond to real moments, not concepts.
Match your tone to the moment - Sometimes you speak calmly. Other times with urgency. Some moments ask for energy, some ask for care. If your words say “This matters,” but your tone says “Just another update,” people will believe the tone. They always do.
Test what people actually heard - Don’t end meetings with “Any questions?” That’s not real feedback. Instead, ask someone to tell you what they understood. Ask them to explain the next steps in their own words. If the answer surprises you, that’s a gift. Now you know what to fix.
Connect your message to what they care about - A good communicator doesn’t just say what needs to happen. They explain why it matters to the team, to the company, and often to the individual. If someone cares about learning, show how this work helps them grow. If someone values stability, explain how the plan protects the team from chaos. When people see themselves in the message, they listen longer.
Don’t confuse complexity with credibility - This one is dangerous. Many people try to sound “important” by using technical terms or long sentences. But that doesn’t build trust. It builds distance. If someone has to work hard to understand you, they won’t feel smarter. They’ll just feel tired. And when people are tired, they stop listening.
Bring emotion into the room - Not drama. Not pressure. Just a real human tone. Let your voice carry a little care, a little belief, a little weight. People might forget your words. But they won’t forget how you made them feel when you said them.
This is what good communication in leadership looks like.
It’s quiet. It’s intentional. Because when your message sticks, people move.
But now, we start going deeper and check the most common communication mistakes that quietly kill your influence.
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The Most Common Communication Mistakes That Quietly Kill Influence
Most people don’t lose influence because they said something wrong. They lost it because their message didn’t land the way they thought it would.
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